The therapist gets a counselor. Sort of. Maybe.

I said in my very first post that I’ve always been overweight. I think I said that. Let me check. *brb*

*5 minutes later*
Heavyset was the word I used. Overweight is better. I’ve been overweight, as in weighing more than is healthy, since I was about 4 years old, according to my mom. I don’t really remember that far back, but this is when she said she thinks it started. So yes, overweight for a long time. I don’t really know what it’s like to not be overweight, not shop for clothes in the plus-size section, not buy prom and formal dresses from David’s Bridal because the department stores didn’t carry my size… those assholes. Like seriously, just because a girl is bigger than a size 14 (real size 10) she can’t get a big pink poofy sequiny prom dress? F*ck you Dillards.

I digress. I’ve always been big. I was raised on McDonald’s happy meals. This is not a jab at my parents. I freaking love McDonalds, fake chicken and all. Sorry not sorry. But that being said, I’ve never learned how to eat healthy. Sure, I know that you should eat less cheeseburgers and eat more carrots, but that about does it for my actual, solid knowledge of healthy eating. As far as doing research, the internet is FULL of advice, both good and bad, so there’s plenty of information about not eating carbs, not drinking sodas, not eating red meat, blah blah blah. And I know that different ‘diets’ work for different people. I also know that I am ready to make a lifestyle change, which is what the serious people call it, and I don’t need to be giving up any foods that I don’t plan on saying goodbye to FOR-EH-VER (Sandlot, anyone?). I will never give up bread, or cheese, or pasta, or hamburgers. I refuse. SO, what I have done is contacted a nutritional counselor.

I found her online by doing a search of people in my area. Turns out, she now lives in another state on the opposite side of the country and the website people haven’t taken her info down yet, but she’s willing to work with me over the phone/facetime. The only drawback (according to her) is that she normally likes to do grocery shopping trips with her clients, and this won’t be an option for us. Everything else seems pretty standard. We talked about my needs, my goals, what I want to get out of all this, etc. etc. and she’s supposed to be drafting some ideas for me, along with a price list to see if I can do this (’cause momma doesn’t make any money in the mental health business. Grad school was a giant lie) and we are going to see if we can work this out.

I know that my biggest issue is portion control. At work, I do awesome with my pre-packed breakfasts and lunches, but then at dinner time it’s like binge city. H is an AMAZING cook, and I eat, and eat, and eat. I have no self-control. But even while I’m doing “awesome” at work, I know I packed huge portions, probably of food that I don’t need to be eating. So we are gonna give this a shot and I’ll keep you posted on how it goes. Keep me in your thoughts!

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